Intimacy work is constantly evolving, and sometimes it requires updating definitions. The acronym FRIES was created by Planned Parenthood as a definition for actual sexual encounters, not for crafted and simulated performances of romance and intimacy.
It stands for:
- Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.
- Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
- Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
- Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex).
Today, IDC Professionals uses the acronym CRISP for simulated performances of romance and intimacy.
CRISP stands for:
IDC Professionals kept Reversible, Informed, and Specific because those three elements are important for real and performed intimacy.
By replacing Freely Given and Enthusiastic and with Considered and Participatory, they recognize we cannot erase the power dynamics in performance, but we can consider them and include performers in decisions about what happens to their bodies.
What do you think of these definitions? How can you apply these to your creative productions?
If you’re considering bringing an Intimacy Coordinator onto your next production, let’s chat. Book a free 30-min Virtual Coffee with me.